Decoding "Kanyadaan": The most discussed custom at Indian weddings.

The true meaning behind Kanyadaan and what happened Next…Know more...

Wednesday, 7th July 2021

As the new Netflix original movie "The Big Day" implies, charming brides and grooms, beautifully dressed baratis and grand celebrations are the definition of Indian weddings. From a distance, this is just a live-action movie. However, when you attend a wedding, you will realize that our traditions are often problematic (possibly wrong) and misogynistic in nature.

 Bollywood actress Dia Mirza recently made headlines after refusing to follow some of these customs at her wedding. Mirza chose a priestess and said no to Kanjadan; for equality. After that, the media was flooded with a lot of female stories matching these options. But has Indian society been so retrogressive? In our history, there are countless examples of female fighters, leaders and activists boasting about their great achievements. However, there are also cases of women fighting for equality. So, what is the reason behind this misogynistic ideology?

 The Bridge Chronicle attempts to trace the origin, history and timeline of Kanyadaan, the most discussed custom in Indian weddings. We talked with Dr. Manisha Shette from Jnana Prabodini, Pune to better understand this concept. This doctor has been engaged in priesthood work for the past thirteen years and has also trained aspiring pastors. It is related to the research, culture and Sanskrit language of the institution. She talked about how Kanyadaan's original concept has changed over the years.

 "According to the original scripture, Kanyadaan has always been a moral concept compared to today's tone. It is about the groom openly accepting the bride and promising to respect her and treat her equally in all aspects," he said. Priestess. 

Also Read: The Story of the Sari: The Nine Yard Miracle.

 He explained that conceptual changes can be traced back to various social conditions. During the Vedic period, women had the right to receive education and then choose to marry or remain single. However, as the social system changes, the conditions for women to marry have also changed. With the rise of factors such as class and caste, child marriages have increased, causing girls to be regarded as a "burden" for parents. Therefore, the misconception of Kanyadaan was established. In addition, the tradition of giving jewellery/cash to the bride later adopted the form of dowry.

 "But initially, kanyadaan revolved around the concept of acceptance. The bride's parents ask her husband to promise that their family will respect, love, and care for the girl as their own daughter.

 In the discussion, we also talked about other traditions - washing the groom's feet, wearing mangalsutra or bracelets - and questioning their origins.

 "The Vedas did not speak of wearing adornments to indicate that women are married. These are the most recent. Even the tradition of washing the groom's feet dates back to earlier times. The groom and his family generally travel long distances or come to the bride village. Therefore, the feat of providing water to clean them is necessary. But now, when everyone is traveling by car, it is not necessary, "said Shette. Recent discussions on this topic show that women are now actively working to abolish these ancient traditions. Also, when we are committed to love and marriage: being more tolerant, how do we adjust to these customs and traditions?

 Shreya, Mumbai, scheduled to be married in December. To his surprise, his in-laws agreed to abolish the kanyadaan, but his parents stood firm. "When my family tried to persuade me not to do this, I couldn't believe it. They thought it was something 'worth' doing. It was my mother-in-law who managed to convince them," she said.

 Fortunately for some people, the discussion is not that difficult. Harsh Varma remembers his wedding and talks about kanyadaan. "We didn't think about it until my sister pointed it out. She asked my mother why it was necessary to donate this girl (she tried to break the word into Kanyadaan). No.

 Mr. Rajat refuted this view, he Said: "We have seen weddings in some way since we were young. People think that "kanyadaan" is an honor and many people are unlucky. So I hope to make this wish come true at my daughter's wedding.

 Speaking of the changes in the last year, Dr. Manisha Shette said: "I see an increase in priestesses. The number of people who choose to abolish the misogynistic system has also increased.

 shared an example, she said:" We celebrate a wedding, we celebrate a 'putradaan'. "The bride made all the promises the man made at the wedding. I am very happy to see such acceptance."

 "Unfortunately, acceptance in rural areas is not high enough. But education is the key. At that time, people will be able to make the right decisions, "added Shette.

 Tradition and logic have been debated in India for a long time. If one believes that the system is a matter of personal choice. But it is a tendency to make The right decisions It is imperative India is trying to take a logical view of progress, where every little effort can have a huge impact.

The News Talkie Bureau                                                                                             

Source:

TheBridgeChronicle